Hey folks.  So I don’t know how many of you have been trying to access GRDX these last few days (or can even see this post right now), but I ran into a bit of a Terms of Service hang-up with my hosting provider JustHost (whom I now bear no ill will towards – because I was pissed when all of this went down *just setting the record straight*) and the site was pulled down.  During the frustrating process of trying to migrate the site somewhere else, or even get JustHost to just turn the thing back on so that people can see the posts, I realized something…  My interests had moved on to something else.

Do I know what that “something else” is yet?

No (haha) – and it probably won’t be another blog, but I said a long time ago when I started GRDX that when I felt like it was time to move on, I would (move on).  I would rather do that any day vs. letting the content of the site suffer due to my disinterest or lack of things to say.

I don’t have any regrets about it.  I’ve written over 750 posts myself for the blog and I’m proud of each and every one of them.  I thank everyone who read each and every word, and am even more appreciative of those who took the time to comment.

Do I feel like I re-defined the Modern Gentleman?  Being honest, na – not really (haha), but I do feel like a better man because of the thought process I’ve went through for the content for this site.  In the end – that matters too right?  I still wouldn’t call myself a Gentleman, but I think I’d officially consider myself an “ok guy”.  Plus I still want to be a Gentleman – and I encourage you all to continue wanting to be the best Ladies and Gentlemen you can possibly be in Life – I just don’t want to blog about it anymore.

Shouts to Derrick Idleburg Jr., Erik Walker and Amari Howard for their regular contributions on the blog (no matter how brief) – and thanks to all of the Guest Bloggers there were throughout the 2 year run of this site.

Also a shout out to any third party who took interest in what was being done here at GRDX.  It was all good times and great connections.

Anyway — that’s enough of a farewell don’t ya’ think?

I’m not writing this because I wanted some huge ceremonious goodbye or anything.  I just remembered a discussion with some friends a while back about how we hate it when blogs that we like just suddenly stop without saying anything to anyone.

So consider this my “2 weeks”…

Well… Eh…

Really, it’s more like “1 week + some days”.  The hosting for this site expires on March 10, 2012 (just a few days away), and I’m just going to let it run out vs. renewing.  Just wanted to give you all a heads up.  It’s been a blast (seriously – love you guys)! 

If anyone still wants to chat w/ me from time-to-time – my new twitter handle is @Yo_Soy_Juanito (sorry – I don’t really do the facebook thing).

And finally…

Peace and thanks for reading.

In some episodes you’ll think Sonic is the man – in others, you’ll just find him to be a jerk.  Take one of my favorites from Season 1 for example where he “helps” a mentally imbalanced Kirby “fight enemies”…

In total, there are 3 seasons so far – and each has about 13 episodes I think (each episode is only about 2 minutes long).  If you’ve got an hour to kill, I’d recommend catching up on them all and just sharing your favorites with your friends if this is your type of humor.

CLICK THE PIC below to be taken to the main page for the show…

Had you ever heard of “Sonic For Hire” before?  What types of odd jobs would you have Sonic do for you?  Did you have any favorite episodes?  If so – share them with us below in the Comment Section.

Peace and thanks for reading.

I was at a Christmas Party for my department at work.  We were all laughing it up and having drinks when a few people were upset and talking about, “What the hell am I going to do in construction?!”  It turned out that some people had received letters in their mailboxes that basically said, you’re fired – but we set it up to where you can go and work for this construction company we own for much less money.  There was a list of names, and my name was on the list.  I went to my mailbox, and sure enough, there was my letter stating that the company no longer required my services while offering me a job at some construction company I’d never heard of before in all of my time there.

I’ll stop the dream there and just get into the question that’s driving this post: What would you do if you were fired?

Everything happened so fast…

So what can a person do to prepare for such a thing?  Perhaps now is the time to seriously sit down and think about what contingency plans you have in place should you be “let go” from your place of employment.  In the world we live in currently (from an economic standpoint) it’s not too hard to imagine something like that happening.

I’d recommend the following…

• Generate a few other streams of income so that you aren’t solely reliant on your main job.  Whatever you’re talented at – profit from it; if you have extra money – invest it; and so on.  My goal is to get to 5 or 6 other sources of income.  Right now I only have 4 including my job – but I’m almost there.  I’m not going to stop at 5 or 6 either — once I reach that, I’ll keep going because it all makes my safety net a little stronger.
• Keep your connections fresh and on good terms.  You never know who may be able to help you out in your times of need.  I know that if I were let go, I’d be ready to reach out to every company I ever blogged for and put in a word with all of my Twitter and Linkedin connections (and that’s just for starters).
• Learn, learn, learn.  For a lot of people, there’s a major fear in a career switch because that’s all that they know.  Spend your time learning other lucrative skills.  I can fall into web design, art, writing, children’s work, not for profit work, etc.  That’s because I’ve taken the time to find out what skills are needed in those areas because I was interested in them.  While you can “comfortably” explore other things – do so, before you HAVE TO…

That’s only 3 suggestions, but I guarantee that if you focus on developing those things, you’ll be further along than a lot of people.

A Gentleman plans for the worse and hopes it never occurs.  I’m a Gent-in-training, so I’m still trying to finesse my approach to minimizing my risks of personal ruin – but hey, we’ve all gotta’ start somewhere.

So what would you do if you were fired?  Do you have a back-up plan to your current job or career?  Would you know who to contact or how not to lose faith?  Speak your mind on this subject in the Comment Section below.

Peace and thanks for reading.

For me personally, I was delighted with what I saw from Mens Fashion line RAKE (click here to visit their website).  They presented a fine collection of simple, but well-stated pieces in their collection that I honestly feel warrant a bit more exposure on the blogosphere.  Check out this great behind the scenes footage of their work at London Fashion Week…

• The line’s use of models who all had other occupations outside of modeling to give the brand a persona behind the clothing.
• Clive Darby’s (Designer) attention to detail.
• The cuts, the fabrics – some of the close-up shots deliver nothing but a sumptuous visual to folks who enjoy quality fashion (*raises hand*)
• All of the statements made in the video.  Whoever did the editing for this particular video caught a great glimpse of not only what people thought of RAKE, but what they thought of Fashion in general.

And again, I love the practicality of this line.  It’s a solid brand presentation that your inner-style enthusiast could work wonders with.  Here’s a bit of a statement from their site on the overall concept of their inspiration…

“A gentleman of rogue habits, a seducer of all things beautiful in life, and the libertine of his day.”

From this inspiration we gain our 21st century interpretation. Our RAKE? is an individual who moves through life with an inner confidence and purpose.

Through his refined elegance and understanding comes a man who dresses for himself and not to conform; whose style is reflected in his manner and the code he lives life by.

He has mastered all the rules of elegance yet breaks them at will.

RAKE? is a menswear collection that caters for the international man. A collection of versatile separates constructed using the ?nest cloths. This is ?exible luxury; garments that can be worn with their counterpart as a suit or separately with jeans, chinos, trainers or complementary pieces from the collection…

I can’t help but dig that on a personal level – they go on even further in that statement to point out how their brand is even “quietly distinguished” (a term that a Gentleman inspires to embody).

I’ll get out of my fashion-crush mode and just let you look at the line that was presented yourself by clicking the image below.  Enjoy the view and spread the word about the fine quality that is RAKE.

CLICK THE PIC to check out RAKE's AW12 offering...
(Photo credit: Catwalking.com)

What do you think of their pieces?  Are they the type of clothes that you would like to own, even in individual pieces?  What do you think makes this a good/bad brand from a sense of visual appeal?  Doesn’t the guy in the first image look like he could be Antonio Danderas’ father or something?  Would someone please get me the coat in the 3rd image (I’ll be your friend for life)?  Haha – Share your thoughts in the Comment Section below.

Peace and thanks for reading.

Basically I was at a Downton Abbey Season Finale Watch Party (I’m a bit of a geek at times), and I casually popped my knuckles every now and then.  When the first episode ended – an older gentleman behind me interrupted my friends and I and said, “Johnnie, I need to talk to you.”  We we all a little thrown back by his sudden jumping into our circle, but I agreed to hear him out in front of everyone.

He then went on to warn me that he used to pop his knuckles when he was younger, and now has to go and get shots in his hands each week or risk them being fused together because of arthritis that developed due to all of the cracking.

Question: Are there any side effects to cracking knuckles?

There is no evidence that cracking knuckles causes any damage such as arthritis in the joints. However, a couple of reports in the medical literature are available associating knuckle cracking with injury of the ligaments surrounding the joint or dislocation of the tendons ( attachments of muscles to bones) which improved with conservative treatment. A study found that after many years of cracking habitual knuckle crackers may have reduced grip strength compared with people not cracking their knuckles.

So here’s what I think about that — Knuckle Cracking has been about as elusive a thing as smoking cigarettes.  Sure people want to link it to something bad, but for some reason – medical professionals refuse to give a definite “Yes, it’s bad for you-” or “No, you’ll be fine.”  All of that previous stuff said, I like to err on the side of caution – so I’m definitely trying to at least reduce my habit of knuckle cracking.  It annoys the crap out of some people anyway and I try not to do it in the movies at all – haha!

A few tips from me to you on this one…

1. Keep your hands busy.  They say that idle hands are the tool of the Devil – but I say that idle hands lead to fidgeting and joint popping.
2. Don’t let your hands touch while you sit.  I immediately noticed this week that I have a habit of sitting with my hands together, touching, or interlocked in some way.  What that means is that it’s easier for me to just subconsciously crack my knuckles.  If I focus on keeping my hands apart – that will hopefully fend off some of the subconscious casual knuckle popping.
3. Just focus on reducing – not eliminating entirely.  Like the saying goes, “Rome wasn’t built in a day” – it’s the same with any habits you have.  Don’t focus on trying to stop them cold because you won’t, and then you’ll just end up feeling defeated and quitting because it feels futile.  That doesn’t mean that your attempts are flawed so much as your original goal is a little unrealistic.  Just focus on cutting back – not cutting out.
4. When you do “stop” – keep it up for 30 days.  I’m sure everyone’s heard that it takes 30 days to make or break a habit thanks to Malcolm Gladwell — whether that’s true or not, I’d try it out and see   I hate the law of averages because that basically means that it may take longer or shorter than 30 days for an individual to make or break a habit.  I mean I gave up Chipotle for 30 days, and look at me — I still eat the stuff multiple times a week like it’s a drug addiction.

What do you think about knuckle popping?  Have you been told that it causes Arthritis?  Do you do it (pop your knuckles) yourself?  Spill any thoughts that you have on the subject into the Comment Section below.

Peace and thanks for reading.

So — we’ll need a test subject that all of us can work from…

So... Where did you look?

I understand that you’re a man – and that we’re visual creatures.  But try imagining the similar thing with these pointers in mind

BUSTED! (no pun intended)

Using the “I’m just a man” excuse in these situations is no different than having to urinate.  It’s just as natural – we all do it – but you wouldn’t just relieve yourself in the middle of a hallway while walking with someone and talking.  Even those people who pull their car over to take a leak outside don’t do so in the view of drivers passing by.  So there’s your first tip: Always picture someone looking at you as you stare at a woman’s *ahem* assets.

Your next tip (and this will come with practice), is to simply work on making sure your eyes never drop lower than her chin.  I’ve had years of practicing this technique in a corporate environment, but for someone who isn’t exposed to that world everyday – it may be challenging.  So play a game of sorts with close female friends.  Tell them what you’re working on, and that if they ever catch your eyes dropping any lower than their chin – they can slap you upside the head.  It’s a crude method, but those strikes will cement that looking is a no-no in your head.

What’s the deterrent in the work place?  Why a man could lose his job or his good name if he’s called out on sexual harassment for ogling some unsuspecting woman’s *ahem* assets.  That’s motivation enough – trust me.  Nothing like losing your livelihood because you couldn’t adjust to women’s fashion.

My last tip is to think of awkward situations. Picture someone staring like that at your Mom, Daughter or Sister (bonus points if you can stomach someone eye-balling your Grandma).  It’s not any fun is it?  You take a seemingly leisure glance and make it something of moral significance to yourself and you’ve got a pretty good handle on things.

When all else fails, fall back on your manners as a Gentleman.  If you get caught red-handed (or rather “open-eyed”) staring at a woman’s breasts, don’t keep staring.  Don’t act like you weren’t looking either.  Just apologize and keep it moving.  If you know the woman, lighten up the mood with a joke and a non-creepy compliment (trust me – you’ll think of something appropriate… ok… maybe you won’t).  Don’t say “Nice rack” or anything like that if she’s offended, just pull back with a “Sorry – it’s hard to resist pretty things” and then SHUT UP!  Matter of fact – read the situation, if the compliment feels ill-timed — don’t say a word.

Like I said, this will take practice to overcome.  And I’m not saying remove a good glance from your nature entirely – you are a man – but keep in mind that a great deal of women don’t like to be objectified and that’s what your stare is doing in a sense.

Talk to Ladies that you’re close to about this topic and get their advice on it – that’s what I had to do.  I’m a guy, so I’m not going to make you out the villain here – but that doesn’t mean someone else won’t.

What are your tips for these situations?  What do you think of world leaders getting caught doing this?  Do you think that some women are “asking for the attention” with the clothes that they wear?  Speak your mind in the Comment Section below.

Peace and thanks for reading.

And the Winners are...

Alright, so on Feb. 19th a post went up on MTV.com announcing their 2011/2012 #1 Hottest MC in the Game (part of me wonders if this is done in Feb. for Black History Month as opposed to November – which some recognize as Hiphop History Month).  Here’s how things shook out (I’ll kill the suspense early) if you look to the right.

This list sadly told me one thing for real: While I’m familiar with every name on this list, I can’t say that I’m a fan of this genre of music anymore as it stands.  Sure I’ve heard these folks names – but I’m not a consumer of their music for the most part. 

That doesn’t make it a bad thing at all – none of these artists have anything to prove to me or anyone else – but what it does tell me is that I’ve just grown out of touch with the popular-side of this genre if these really are the best they have to offer.

Here’s a peek at the list as I first saw it, back in 2007 (following the “Greatest MC/Album of All-Time” lists from MTV), and my justification for why this current list just sort of saddens me is right after it below…

MTV Hottest MC’s in the Game – 2007

1. Lil’ Wayne
2. T.I.
3. Game
4. Andre 3000
5. Kanye West
6. Young Jeezy
7. Jay-Z
8. 50 Cent
9. Common
10. Jim Jones

This is from the perspective of someone who lived through 1998 Hiphop, so don’t be mad at me if I come off as dissing someone you like.

Now – looking at this list each year (check out this collection of the listings ever since it first appeared >> thank God for Wikipedia), one thing at least validated this list for me – the spread of styles present on the list.  Almost like they were striving to get a little bit of flavor from each of the major Hiphop regions (East, West, South) and so on.  It also seemed like “The Greats” of the genre kept up their appearances.  Sure Ludacris should’ve been on there more than the one time he appeared back in 2010, but what can ya’ do?

I guess this list solidifies a changing of the guard when it comes to this style of music.  The commercially “deep” rappers on the list are non-existent (unless you’re counting Wale – who I think made it by association to #1), and over half of the list has next to no proof of longevity just yet.  Sure I think that Nicki and Drake deserve spots on the list – but they’re pretty much the headliners of their “time” in this style of music right now.  I’m not saying I love their songs – just calling it like I see it.

Not beating around the bush though, I can’t really argue this list.  I mean, “Who else is honestly doing anything right now that people hear?”

Depending on the circles you run in – you could argue Mac Miller, Tyler the Creator, J. Cole or even A$AP Rocky — hell, I’d even like to see Childish Gambino get a nod just because if he didn’t have everyone talking in 2011, he wouldn’t even have a deal right now!  But outside of that, who else other than these people are on the radio?

The problem I see here is that the buffet that was the Genre has been cut down.  Seriously – if I played songs from a few of these folks back-to-back, I wouldn’t get anything substantively “new” from any of them, just variations of the same mold that every label is trying to push right now.  I know there’s nothing new under the sun, but you don’t HAVE to do this list every year.  You just don’t.

I applaud Rick Ross because he’s consistently delivered what it is he delivers.  I’m not a fan of his like that – but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t always love the production quality of the music he was on.

MTV didn’t drop the ball with this one – they just didn’t bring me anything to be impressed with this year.  I guess it’s as solid radio/pop-culture listing as you’ll find anywhere on the genre currently – but dang… that’s sad for me.  Seems like some of the past “list members” would’ve swallowed the current list members whole in a rhyme bout – but *meh*

What do you think of the listing?  Who would have been on your personal list?  Does it differ wildly from what MTV put up?  Do you feel like this list needs to be done every year?  Speak your mind on the topic if you’re into Hiphop like that in the Comment Section below.

Peace and thanks for reading.

To get the ball rolling, @vibeandvegas (Dr. Vibe) tweeted the initial question…

• @TyLishaRenee responded that she “go[es] to church to gain a better understanding of the word.”
• @artofbeingblunt simply stated that she was “Lutheran. [Her] dad is a Lutheran minister and provided a foundation,” and that she “go[es] to church for peace, patience ,and praise. To love and be loved.”
• @WalkSays said (haha) “Absolutely. Christianity is about community. Church is that community.”

At this point I was getting worried about the course of the discussion (because I really didn’t want for it to just become a one-sided follower-based discussion), so I sprinkled in, “Tell us about your church — then let me know how you feel about churches overall and how they’re doing.”

Dr. Vibe simultaneously followed up his original question with, “How can spiritual leader[s] better relate to today’s followers?”  And knowing that would get a few more bites – I insisted by saying, “I’m still curious how folks would grade the Church as a unit when it comes to impacting the world right now. A, B, C, D or F?”

Dr. Vibe said he’d give an A for where he goes to church & no one else bit (sad face).

In response to Dr. Vibe’s question – one response was:

By knowing what the world is offering people (Internet, drugs, no hope, etc.) & talking to them on that level — The church should evolve with the times in order to be effective to young people — The Bible however does not evolve, God’s word has been the same forever. Just have to b more creative In presenting the Word. (@TyLishaRenee)

Dr. Vibe then followed up with, “Do the people who told you to go to church when you were young still go today?” to @TyLishaRenee, and she responded, “Absolutely…and their faith is stronger than ever!”

Haha – I was still trying to get into something that I felt was more in-line with the original purpose of the discussion (in my mind).  I was throwing things out there like, “Flipping things a bit – what do you all tell non-believers?” and “Do you think celebrity-believers help or hurt the Church more these days? (e.g. Tebow, Lin, Good, etc…)”

And I think @WalkSays was beginning to see my “struggle”/attempts, so he re-tweeted (for my non-Twitter folks, that means he copied my words and then tweeted them on his account so that his followers could see it) my celebrity question to a few folks.  It got a few people to chime in…

• “They can have a unifying effect, people need to see themselves in the lessons of faith so that they can identify with teachings.” (@TheStyleGent)
• “We only see the public side of them. So, it may be difficult to judge.” (Dr. Vibe)
• “I don’t think they hurt or help the church itself. Their platform does wonders for spreading the Gospel message” (@WalkSays)
• “I think it depends to what extent. There are some where you can just tell by how they live their lives (pos. representation) and then others who flaunt and throw it in your face, and it just becomes a joke (neg. representation).” (@Mr_Bragg1)

All the while Dr. Vibe has put out two questions of his own (this is the beautiful chaos that is a Twitter Chat): “Do a lot of your friends go to church?” and “What are some of the ways to be more creative in presenting the Bible?”  I responded to one of his questions saying that, “A lot of my friends go to church too. I think birds of a feather flock together,” while @TyLishaRenee said, “[B]e more relatable. Place scriptures on Facebook or twitter. Make Church the popular thing to do.” in response to his other question.  Not wanting to be rude, I also jumped in with “In my opinion – “more creative” = mentoring vs. talking; guiding vs. instructing; partnering vs. commanding.”

I think this was originally written tied to my question about non-believers, but Dr. Vibe asked, “Do non-believers have a spiritual walk?”

• @TheStyleGent said, “[E]ven non believers have a spiritual walk, there are questions inside you need to answer to find purpose & peace.”
• I said, “I think they do. Many young folks say they’re Spiritual vs. Religious.”

My response sort of opened an age-old can of worms.  Dr. Vibe immediately bit and asked, “What is the difference between spiritual and religious?”

• I said, “From convos – ‘religious’ is blind & ‘spiritual’ is open-minded.”
• @artofbeingblunt said “Spiritual = believe in God but don’t practice or go to church. Religious = goes to church, maybe zealous.”

And then @WalkSays gave a highly re-tweeted response with…

He asked, “You think that those people who belong to a specific religion are Spiritual?” to which I replied, “Some (many in fact), but not all.”  Then he asked, “Are those who are Spiritual not Religious because they don’t [have] a specific denomination?” to which I simply said, “To some.”  His final question to me was, “Can a person be both religious and spiritual?” and I said, “Yeah I think so. For some, religion leads to spirituality.”

Now the conversation was falling into the court I was more interested in.  If you follow this blog, you know that I’m a researcher by trade – and one key thing that defines the Millennial Generation’s views on faith (that differs from other generations) is our collective views on Spirituality vs. Religion, and which is more preferred.  One growing phenomenon over the last decade or so has been the fact that people aren’t losing faith in their beliefs – but rather the institutions that guide those beliefs.

A few more questions were thrown out as we were winding down, and in the final moments I asked for final thoughts.  The final response (that was within the allotted hour for the Twitter Chat was:

Questions were asked about bonding denominations of faith to be more effective and so on – and an even more important question was posed by @WalkSays that probably should have been clarified from the beginning… “What does “positive impact” mean? Give hope? Uplift? Encourage? Charity?” he then stated that is was “Tough to give a general answer.”

Haha – I told him, “That’s honestly a tough one … I’d say significantly fixing the ‘greater ills’ of the world.” and that was about where we left it.  I also recommended that people read a great blog post on faith from @artofbeingblunt (yes – I’m recommending that you read it too).

Now — my response to the worry posed at the beginning of this post is simply this.  I’m not against faith or religion.  I’m Christian, and I claim it proudly.  But I mostly don’t enjoy objective (attempts) at discussions on faith because they almost never peacefully happen.  It almost always turns into a “believer vs. non-believer” debate, rather than being “The Church (as a whole) has positively (or negatively) impacted the world because of X, Y and Z.”  Or — it becomes a “praise vs. bash” session.  No one likes to talk against their own faith, and they also don’t like other people talking against it — that’s just how we’re wired and people know that.  Unless they’re jackasses or seriously don’t care about people holding them in “popular regard” – most won’t speak on or against the topic of faith.  Politicians avoid it, and even religious leaders will hardly discuss it “honestly”.  Hmmm…  I applaud our attempt – but I don’t think we really got into the core of the nights question with this one.

What do you think?  Where do you sit with the night’s question?  Respond to any of the discussions that you saw above in the Comment Section below.  To look at the discussion, just search on Twitter for “#DrVibeREDUX”.  I know that the tweets eventually go away (sorry I don’t know when) – so go and look while the looking is good!

Peace and thanks for reading.

Today I’d like to focus on one such designer who was actually selected to be paired with another, “J SHOES [was] selected to be part of Hyden Yoo’s Autumn/Winter ’12-’13 New York Fashion Week show. Yoo’s collection and J SHOES’ appearance have been gaining rave reviews from fashion’s elite.”

The British brand has grown organically becoming a global success fueled by an ever-expanding community of creative individuals, who believe in the true value of design, craft and quality. The team behind J SHOES loves what they do and is passionate about making the best products possible. The brand takes pride in their inventive use of materials, finishing techniques and color palettes. J SHOES creates high quality affordable footwear while maintaining a reputation for using the finest materials and components worldwide.

The Autumn/Winter line of J SHOES ranges from $149 – $287.  And before you scoff at the price-tag, check out the line sheet for the 2012-13 collection by clicking here.  The styles, colors and textures found in this high-quality footwear seems like justification enough in my eyes.  It’s understandable why folks are raving about the line.

The 2012 autumn/winter J SHOES collection focuses on stories that support a creative spirit. You will find an array of styles featuring rich character leathers, heritage inspiration and a color palette consisting of earthy browns, tans, green tones, and various shades of stony grey.

It’s an “in” look now.  CLICK THE PIC below to get a larger look at how select shots of “J SHOES aesthetic paired perfectly with Hyden Yoo’s preppy, downtown-inspiredcollection.”

CLICK THE PIC for a larger view...

In the spirit of full-disclosure, my glowing review of this footwear isn’t based on payment of any kind.  I just genuinely happen to like these and would recommend them to anyone (based on what I see) — that’s all.

Do yourself a favor and check out the links present in this article and then let me know what you think of the shoes in the Comment Section below.  What do you think of the colors and styles available in the line?  Do you think that Hyden made a good choice?  Speak your mind.

Peace and thanks for reading.

As I have mentioned before, I earned my undergraduate degree (electrical engineering) at Oklahoma State University. I’m proud to be an alumnus of OK State for a number of reasons. The most important one for today is that despite its size, OK State has the feel of a smaller school. It truly is a family environment. Many of the friends that I made there while in college will be friends for the rest of my life. It is truly a unique place in that regard.

While in school I met tons of great people, one of whom was a young lady named Monica Dudley (@ProfessorMonica). She was also a native of Oklahoma City, and although I didn’t know her in high school, we shared a number of mutual friends.

Monica Dudley

During our college years a friendship grew between Monica and me. I’d be lying if I said that we were “best friends” or that I talked to her on a daily basis, but we were good friends. My fraternity and her sorority frequently hung out together, which made us all truly feel like brothers and sisters. As a unit, we were close.

There were no questions what Monica’s passions were–she wore them on her sleeve. She was passionate about not only doing well in school, but being the best at what she did. She was passionate about her church, but more so with spreading the Gospel message.  She was passionate about helping others to achieve whatever level of success they desired as well. She was passionate about blazing a trail for those after her to follow. She wasn’t concerned with making a name for herself, but in pursuing her own convictions and passions that’s exactly what she did.

Monica was driven.

She was a year behind me in college, but completed her undergraduate degree and a portion of her master’s degree by the time I completed my bachelor’s. She was set to be done with her Ph.D by the time I completed my master’s. She had very specific goals in mind that were clear to anyone who saw her live. Her actions spoke to her vision better than her words ever could.

She was an inspiration.

**************************************************

February 1, 2012 marked the first day of Black History Month. Another good friend of mine from OK State, Chris W. (@chris_doulos), and I decided to create a ridiculous list of made up Black History facts (we didn’t start the topic #BlackHistoryFacts, we were merely participants). We had a great time that day making each other and some of our followers laugh. Monica was one that voiced her enjoyment of the topic. When Chris and I finally decided to call it quits, she responded with the following:

The next morning I found out that hours after Monica sent that tweet, she was killed in a head on collision on the highway…

My world was rocked.

My brain wouldn’t function.

I was in disbelief.

I couldn’t reconcile in my head what I had just heard. In some ways, I still can’t. In fact, it’s taken me this long (as I write this, it is Feb 17) to be able to write this post without tearing up.

After losing grandparents, an uncle, and other family members, I thought I understood death. I thought I had a grip on how I grieve. Somehow this was different. While I love the family members that I’ve lost dearly, they were all sick. You could see death coming. This wasn’t that. This was a woman around my age (she was 27), who was full of life–she was healthy. This was easily one of the toughest things I’ve ever dealt with.

There’s more that could write about her, but I’ll cut it short today and end with a few thoughts.

1. Life is Short. It’s one of the most cliché sayings ever, but it’s true. Fill your life with things and people that matter to you.
2. What will your legacy be? What is it that people will be able to say about you once you’re gone? Are you proud of what you think they’ll say? If not, start working now to change your own eulogy.
3. I don’t ever use this platform that Johnnie has allowed me to use to talk about my faith out of respect for him and the positioning of his blog. I will tell you though, that in accordance with #1 mentioned above, it’s extremely important that we live in such a way that we are prepared to reap the rewards or face the consequences of the life we’ve led. Monica’s life was a testament to her faith and the God she served. In the end, she led many to follow in the same path she had chosen. The picture used for the heading of this post is a testament to that — it’s actually an image of students gathered holding candles in her memory.

That’s it for today. As always, thanks for reading.

Comments?? Questions?? Please leave them below in the Comment Section.

Until next time…

How is everything going for you today? If you are like many fresh out of college millennials facing student debt, you may or may not be bringing in enough income to put away for savings or for a little fun. I’m not here to give you advice on financial ideas *however if you would like to know about that more I suggest that you check out Albert CFS - It’s a great blog dedicated to financial ideas for young professionals and entrepreneurs*

If you want additional income, trust me when I say that your job won’t be where you get it from (not quickly anyway). I personally do a few things on the side aside from work.

That said, I’d like to try something new with you all I like to call “Side Project Sessions”. This forum is just going to be for different ideas that you can do RIGHT NOW to create some additional income for yourself.

For today’s Side Project Session, I’d like to ask if you’ve ever thought about tutoring.

Yes, tutoring.

There has to be a subject or two that you excelled at during your many years in school. Why not capitalize on that knowledge and teach it to those that don’t understand it? Exactly.

Aside from the obvious benefit to tutoring (earning money), there are many other benefits available should you decide to tutor:

Try tutoring. It's a great challenge.

• You will learn more about the subject you tutor on. In order to properly tutor, you need to know the subject. Teaching the subject to someone else will really show you whether you “know” the subject or not. If you need a refresher course, I have a few resources I constantly use.
• Mentorship. Most likely, the students you teach will develop into mentorships as well. For some of my students, I have given them advice and help in areas other than the subject(s) I tutor them in.
• Networking. You never know who you will meet! Seriously. One of my students parents has a lot of knowledge in an area that I lack knowledge in (in regards to my business) and because of the relationship that we have built they are willing to offer their services to me free of charge. Huge help.

Before you start tutoring, I suggest you ask yourself a few questions…

1. Why do I want to tutor?
2. How much time do I have to dedicate to tutoring a student?
3. How much time am I willing to sacrifice?

Remember this is a side project, and not a means to replace your income. It’s to bring in additional income.

I personally keep my sessions at a 2 hour maximum because I find that is the length of time that I can fully dedicate myself to a student without overloading them or myself.

Here’s the strategy…

If you know a lot of people with children who need help in certain or multiple areas, I suggest you contact them and offer your services to them. If you have an existing relationship, selling to them will be much easier. You can also target your alma mater if you stayed in the city of the school you went to. There are many methods to start building your clientele.

I’ve found that one of the simplest methods was to go through an online service so that way you don’t have to spend as much time locating clients. If you decide to go this route, I suggest you go through either Quincy Tutoring or WyzAnt. I use both of these sites currently, which is why I am mentioning them. I’m sure there are others, but these are the best.

Quincy Tutoring is fairly new, but is immensely useful. There are tons of resources on the site to help you. They don’t charge a fee when you charge your clients, and they are building an extensive network of people that you can bounce ideas, techniques, and much more off of as you tutor.  WyzAnt is the other site that I go through. They are a little more established, and offer great resources – however they charge a fee on the money you earn. The amount of the fee varies with the amount of hours you have tutoring in accordance to their sites standards.

I suggest that you check out both of them. I lean more towards Quincy, mainly because they don’t charge a fee on your money.

If you don’t like the idea of tutoring, I’ll have a different side project for you to try next time.

What are your experiences with tutoring? Were they good? What do you think in regards to tutoring for additional income? What ideas do you have for the Side Project Sessions? Please share your thoughts in the Comment Section below.

Remember,

Every new meaningful input demands a disorganization and recalibration of your reality.

-Derrick

A curvy woman in a TSA Boddy Scanner... Security or not?

And why the heck is her husband seeming to smile so much in the interview?  Shouldn’t he be upset (or at least act like he is)?  Do you think the new devices, with the basic gray figure vs. the detailed outline, are as effective or less safe?  Speak your mind on this topic in the Comment Section below.

Peace and thanks for reading.

• You’re on a highway during rush hour and you’re in the middle or far left lane.
• Things are going good for you, and then your lane comes to a slow near-halt.
• Seeing that another lane near yours is moving, you switch lanes (thinking you’ll advance).
• Next thing you know – your new lane has stopped, and your old lane is now moving past you.  You feel dumb for changing lanes.

Had you stayed loyal to your lane (hence the name “Lane Loyalty”), you’d be further along towards your final destination than you are. 

That theory seems to not only apply to driving though, that’s how Life works in general (based on my limited 25 year experience with it).  I opened up this post with that little example because I really can’t think of a better way to ground all of us in the “Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side” concept.

People do it all of the time.  You see something come along that looks like a good deal only to find that it’s not as sweet as you once thought it was, and then you lose all of your progress with what you had.  Keyword “had”.

It’s important that a Gentleman practices loyalty to something if he ever seeks to advance.  It doesn’t matter what that thing is – just find a loyal bone in your body and strengthen it through continuous practice.  Be loyal to your ideals, your job, your friends, your lover, your religion, whatever… Just “pick a lane” and stick with it.

Otherwise you may face a life of this…

Do you want "greener" or "greenest" or just "green" grass? Are they different?

Sure – opportunities come along, and I’m not saying pass it up – but keep that cheesy “you need to make your next move your best move” line in mind.  Think before you act.  Is the grass really greener?  Will switching really get you closer to what you want?

There are always options.  And there are always right choices, wrong choices and BEST choices.

I really just wanted to provoke a little thought with this one – so I’ll stop there.

How does this principle apply to your life?  When do you think you SHOULD move/change lanes?  What do you think the positive and/or negative effects of “Lane Loyalty” could be?  Speak your mind in the Comment Section below.

Peace and thanks for reading.

Peace and thanks for reading  Happy Valentine’s Day folks.

Friend: “That sounds so horrible – don’t remind me.”

Me: “It’s not bad – I just can’t believe how close that is to 30…”

Those were the words my friend and I had just brought up as we were leaving a movie headed back to the car when the first thing we hear on the radio is pertaining to the death of world-famous singer Whitney Houston at the age of 48.  We were both in shock, and honestly thought we were hearing things – so the first thing I naturally do on my phone is go to CNN to confirm it…

Yup.

Right there – on the front page – was a story about how Whitney Houston was dead.

You could’ve heard a pin drop in the car.

I wasn’t even the biggest Whitney Houston fan in the world — but there’s something about the shock of a truly unexpected death of a well-respected celebrity who shaped the perception of what many considered good music.  My friend was sad, and we both immediately thought back to the little remark we’d just made about turning 26 a few minutes earlier.  Really made us think.

I think a tweet I saw earlier today summed the way a lot of people felt about the news perfectly…

Like I said, I wasn’t the biggest Whitney fan.  I won’t front like I knew the lyric to every song she ever made – or even that I always appreciated that amazing voice she was blessed with.  Her real moments of “big time/serious fame” were before I even understood the concept of “good music” or could really take in the quality of that famous “And IIIIIIIIII-eee-IIIIII” (you all know the one).  I just remember her being every woman and then delivering this once I got into music that existed outside of Rap…

She was a Preacher’s Wife.  She was the Fairy Godmother most black kids my age will remember.  I can’t remember any standout parts she had in Waiting to Exhale – but who cares?  She had her problems, but she was human – we knew that, and we loved her anyway.  She taught folks how to handle mistakes in a way: she didn’t fall to them and she pressed on with her great personality.

I didn’t know her, so my commentary stops there.  Just know that I was saddened by the news that this stranger who I “knew so well” had passed.  My condolences go out to her family and friends.

What thoughts do you have about Whitney Houston’s passing?  Where were you when you heard about it?  Share any thoughts you have about her sudden death or her Life (or whatever) in the Comment Section below.

Peace and thanks for reading.

I went to CNN.com to look through their Health Section, as I always do, trying to find great issues to possibly bring up with regards to Health on GRDX.  I quickly tuned into the headline “Dishonest doctors: why physicians lie” because of the moral issues implied by the title, and the fact that it just sounded interesting (plus it was just a great headline).  But literally, a few lines into it, my eyes went to the source of what the article was talking about – a survey put out by the website HealthAffairs.org.  I clicked it and was pretty impressed by the site – so I thought I should tell you all about it.

CLICK THE PIC to be taken to HealthAffairs.org

• We elect government officials based on their stances on it…
• We select places to work based on their treatment of it…
• We decide whether or not to go into business for ourselves based on the cost of it for ourselves and our employees…

I’m just saying, Health (the over-arching subject and industry) isn’t as easy an issue to ignore now as it was even 10 years ago for the average person.  Your retirement is effected by it – your family is impacted as well.  I have a ton of friends who feel helpless when it comes to their Health Care options just because of a sense of unfamiliarity.  That sucks.

It seems like a site like this could potentially inform folks without an agenda being behind it besides “to inform”.  Granted, I just discovered this site – so if they seem to be pushing an agenda don’t hold it against me.

Check out the site and let me know what you think.

Do you feel like Health and Health-related issues are a topic that Gents should know a bit about?  Why or why not?  What do you think of the Health Affairs site?  Tell me your thoughts in the Comment Section below.

Peace and thanks for reading.

Sheesh - that lady totally added that dude to her picture using Photoshop! *Yeah right*

Enter Thomas Barbey:

With unlimited imagination and consummate skill Barbey combines wildly disparate imagery into one seamlessly beautiful piece of art.  And all this with classic photographic techniques– not a computer in sight.

I’ll let you CLICK THE PIC below and judge his artwork for yourself by exploring his online gallery.  I personally dig the skill it must take to pull these images off without a computer – I’ve seen it done in photography classes, but this guy is a master of the techniques.

CLICK THE PIC to check out the photos ("Inner Beauty" by Thomas Barbey)

Peace and thanks for reading.

Hmm. Did Homer take part?

There is a gentleman out of Chicago that decided to cut himself off from all electronic devices for 90 days, and dubbed it “The Amish Project”.

His experiment was very simple. What would it look like to not tweet, book, email, text, call, game and more – for 90 days (I’m almost positive many of you cringed when you read that)?

According to the article:

During his social experiment, he found that some people he counted among his close friends really weren’t that close after all. He also discovered that taking a break from his relationship with social media and really paying attention to the people around him can revive real-life romance.

If you want to read more about the article (not the article itself — that’s the link above), CLICK HERE. It’s definitely worth checking out. If you haven’t been tempted yet, check out this video related to the project…

I personally try to stay away from my phone during baseball games.

For obvious reasons…

This article is really interesting to me because he stated a lot of things I already knew:

• Having friends on social media sites does not mean these people are your actual friends. Of the thousands of people I associate with on social networks (e.g. Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin, Google +, etc.), I only consider maybe 20 or 30 of them my actual friends/family. Just because we speak on Facebook does not make us friends. Online? Sure! Everyday life…Not so much.
• Using social media while hanging out with friends is a little redundant. Seriously, why would you talk to your friends via social media if they are right in front of you? There’s a great example of this in the article.
• Social Media can be damaging. This guy lost his girlfriend because of his dependence on technology. I get that everyone’s situation is different, but I enjoy having the company of a good woman. Social media isn’t THAT important during this instance. That random photo about Star Wars can wait. (He got her back though. Yay for him!)

I’m not trying to bash social media, I’m just trying to understand why social media has made so many so… well… unsociable?

Heck I use it for business purposes all the time. Social media is immensely useful. I’ve met a few folks that I personally don’t think are decent communicators unless it’s through text, email or social media. I tried to hold a conversation once with someone and they were glued to the phone so much that they missed half of the conversation.

I guess it’s an issue of engagement and presence.

Ok, let me stop before I start rambling some more. I’m really interested in hearing what you think about think about this. Also, be sure to see more of Jake Riley’s work at www.BodyCopyByJake.com. He has some interesting stuff on there.

What are your thoughts? How has social media affected some of your relationships? What stories do you have in regards to social media? How has it helped you? Harmed you? Etc? Tell us in the Comment Section below.

Remember:

Every new meaningful input demands a disorganization and recalibration of your reality.

-Derrick

Designers are doing interviews, magazines are sending out their representatives, and sponsors are doing their part as well.  One such sponsor has reached out to the GRDX Blog before — Mercedes-Benz — and they are back again with behind the scenes footage for GQ’s (UK) 2012 Best-Dressed List.

The photo shoot featured three Mercedes-Benz cars, not just as props, but also as style inspiration for the models look, who were dressed by three well known celebrity stylists Luke Day, William Gilchrist and Tom Stubbs. The behind the scenes video of the shoot features an interview with GQ’s Promotions Art Director James Warner and shows viewers a high-fashion shoot coming together whilst capturing the excitement of the day and the elegance and style of both the models and cars.

Personally speaking, I dig the cars – and the look and feel of the overall style presented in the video.  I love how they tried to capture some of the more intricate details of what was going on in the shoot – and I hope at least a few of you appreciate it as well.

Remember – Style is in the details.  Anyone can put on a pair of shoes, a scarf, gloves, etc… but it’s how a Gent pays attention to the details that determines how his personal sense of Style is presented to the world.

If you enjoyed the video, Mercedes-Benz Voices of Fashion (*Voices of Fashion is the exclusive fashion blog brought to you by Mercedes-Benz, Official Sponsors of London Fashion Week*) will continue to cover London Fashion Week on their YouTube Channel, so keep checking back for more backstage goods.

What did you think of the video?  Does it make you want new clothes or a new Benz?  What more would you like to see from London Fashion Week AW 12 coverage?  I may do a bit more digging if you feel it’s worth your time.  Anywho – let me know your thoughts in the Comment Section below.

Peace and thanks for reading.