This post is inspired by a video I caught on CNN this morning…

So — we’ll need a test subject that all of us can work from…

So... Where did you look?

I understand that you’re a man – and that we’re visual creatures.  But try imagining the similar thing with these pointers in mind

BUSTED! (no pun intended)

Using the “I’m just a man” excuse in these situations is no different than having to urinate.  It’s just as natural – we all do it – but you wouldn’t just relieve yourself in the middle of a hallway while walking with someone and talking.  Even those people who pull their car over to take a leak outside don’t do so in the view of drivers passing by.  So there’s your first tip: Always picture someone looking at you as you stare at a woman’s *ahem* assets.

Your next tip (and this will come with practice), is to simply work on making sure your eyes never drop lower than her chin.  I’ve had years of practicing this technique in a corporate environment, but for someone who isn’t exposed to that world everyday – it may be challenging.  So play a game of sorts with close female friends.  Tell them what you’re working on, and that if they ever catch your eyes dropping any lower than their chin – they can slap you upside the head.  It’s a crude method, but those strikes will cement that looking is a no-no in your head.

What’s the deterrent in the work place?  Why a man could lose his job or his good name if he’s called out on sexual harassment for ogling some unsuspecting woman’s *ahem* assets.  That’s motivation enough – trust me.  Nothing like losing your livelihood because you couldn’t adjust to women’s fashion.

My last tip is to think of awkward situations. Picture someone staring like that at your Mom, Daughter or Sister (bonus points if you can stomach someone eye-balling your Grandma).  It’s not any fun is it?  You take a seemingly leisure glance and make it something of moral significance to yourself and you’ve got a pretty good handle on things.

When all else fails, fall back on your manners as a Gentleman.  If you get caught red-handed (or rather “open-eyed”) staring at a woman’s breasts, don’t keep staring.  Don’t act like you weren’t looking either.  Just apologize and keep it moving.  If you know the woman, lighten up the mood with a joke and a non-creepy compliment (trust me – you’ll think of something appropriate… ok… maybe you won’t).  Don’t say “Nice rack” or anything like that if she’s offended, just pull back with a “Sorry – it’s hard to resist pretty things” and then SHUT UP!  Matter of fact – read the situation, if the compliment feels ill-timed — don’t say a word.

Like I said, this will take practice to overcome.  And I’m not saying remove a good glance from your nature entirely – you are a man – but keep in mind that a great deal of women don’t like to be objectified and that’s what your stare is doing in a sense.

Talk to Ladies that you’re close to about this topic and get their advice on it – that’s what I had to do.  I’m a guy, so I’m not going to make you out the villain here – but that doesn’t mean someone else won’t.

What are your tips for these situations?  What do you think of world leaders getting caught doing this?  Do you think that some women are “asking for the attention” with the clothes that they wear?  Speak your mind in the Comment Section below.

Peace and thanks for reading.

And the Winners are...

Alright, so on Feb. 19th a post went up on MTV.com announcing their 2011/2012 #1 Hottest MC in the Game (part of me wonders if this is done in Feb. for Black History Month as opposed to November – which some recognize as Hiphop History Month).  Here’s how things shook out (I’ll kill the suspense early) if you look to the right.

This list sadly told me one thing for real: While I’m familiar with every name on this list, I can’t say that I’m a fan of this genre of music anymore as it stands.  Sure I’ve heard these folks names – but I’m not a consumer of their music for the most part. 

That doesn’t make it a bad thing at all – none of these artists have anything to prove to me or anyone else – but what it does tell me is that I’ve just grown out of touch with the popular-side of this genre if these really are the best they have to offer.

Here’s a peek at the list as I first saw it, back in 2007 (following the “Greatest MC/Album of All-Time” lists from MTV), and my justification for why this current list just sort of saddens me is right after it below…

MTV Hottest MC’s in the Game – 2007

1. Lil’ Wayne
2. T.I.
3. Game
4. Andre 3000
5. Kanye West
6. Young Jeezy
7. Jay-Z
8. 50 Cent
9. Common
10. Jim Jones

This is from the perspective of someone who lived through 1998 Hiphop, so don’t be mad at me if I come off as dissing someone you like.

Now – looking at this list each year (check out this collection of the listings ever since it first appeared >> thank God for Wikipedia), one thing at least validated this list for me – the spread of styles present on the list.  Almost like they were striving to get a little bit of flavor from each of the major Hiphop regions (East, West, South) and so on.  It also seemed like “The Greats” of the genre kept up their appearances.  Sure Ludacris should’ve been on there more than the one time he appeared back in 2010, but what can ya’ do?

I guess this list solidifies a changing of the guard when it comes to this style of music.  The commercially “deep” rappers on the list are non-existent (unless you’re counting Wale – who I think made it by association to #1), and over half of the list has next to no proof of longevity just yet.  Sure I think that Nicki and Drake deserve spots on the list – but they’re pretty much the headliners of their “time” in this style of music right now.  I’m not saying I love their songs – just calling it like I see it.

Not beating around the bush though, I can’t really argue this list.  I mean, “Who else is honestly doing anything right now that people hear?”

Depending on the circles you run in – you could argue Mac Miller, Tyler the Creator, J. Cole or even A$AP Rocky — hell, I’d even like to see Childish Gambino get a nod just because if he didn’t have everyone talking in 2011, he wouldn’t even have a deal right now!  But outside of that, who else other than these people are on the radio?

The problem I see here is that the buffet that was the Genre has been cut down.  Seriously – if I played songs from a few of these folks back-to-back, I wouldn’t get anything substantively “new” from any of them, just variations of the same mold that every label is trying to push right now.  I know there’s nothing new under the sun, but you don’t HAVE to do this list every year.  You just don’t.

I applaud Rick Ross because he’s consistently delivered what it is he delivers.  I’m not a fan of his like that – but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t always love the production quality of the music he was on.

MTV didn’t drop the ball with this one – they just didn’t bring me anything to be impressed with this year.  I guess it’s as solid radio/pop-culture listing as you’ll find anywhere on the genre currently – but dang… that’s sad for me.  Seems like some of the past “list members” would’ve swallowed the current list members whole in a rhyme bout – but *meh*

What do you think of the listing?  Who would have been on your personal list?  Does it differ wildly from what MTV put up?  Do you feel like this list needs to be done every year?  Speak your mind on the topic if you’re into Hiphop like that in the Comment Section below.

Peace and thanks for reading.

This is a very informative video from Howcast on the basic staples of a man’s wardrobe.  At a high-level, the things they point out that you need are:

The topic for the night was intended to basically be: Is the Church making a positive impact on today’s world?  I had one concern going into this discussion… “Would it turn into an honest discussion, or would it be a praise session amongst believers?”  I’ll let you decide how it turned out.

To get the ball rolling, @vibeandvegas (Dr. Vibe) tweeted the initial question…

• @TyLishaRenee responded that she “go[es] to church to gain a better understanding of the word.”
• @artofbeingblunt simply stated that she was “Lutheran. [Her] dad is a Lutheran minister and provided a foundation,” and that she “go[es] to church for peace, patience ,and praise. To love and be loved.”
• @WalkSays said (haha) “Absolutely. Christianity is about community. Church is that community.”

At this point I was getting worried about the course of the discussion (because I really didn’t want for it to just become a one-sided follower-based discussion), so I sprinkled in, “Tell us about your church — then let me know how you feel about churches overall and how they’re doing.”

Dr. Vibe simultaneously followed up his original question with, “How can spiritual leader[s] better relate to today’s followers?”  And knowing that would get a few more bites – I insisted by saying, “I’m still curious how folks would grade the Church as a unit when it comes to impacting the world right now. A, B, C, D or F?”

Dr. Vibe said he’d give an A for where he goes to church & no one else bit (sad face).

In response to Dr. Vibe’s question – one response was:

By knowing what the world is offering people (Internet, drugs, no hope, etc.) & talking to them on that level — The church should evolve with the times in order to be effective to young people — The Bible however does not evolve, God’s word has been the same forever. Just have to b more creative In presenting the Word. (@TyLishaRenee)

Dr. Vibe then followed up with, “Do the people who told you to go to church when you were young still go today?” to @TyLishaRenee, and she responded, “Absolutely…and their faith is stronger than ever!”

Haha – I was still trying to get into something that I felt was more in-line with the original purpose of the discussion (in my mind).  I was throwing things out there like, “Flipping things a bit – what do you all tell non-believers?” and “Do you think celebrity-believers help or hurt the Church more these days? (e.g. Tebow, Lin, Good, etc…)”

And I think @WalkSays was beginning to see my “struggle”/attempts, so he re-tweeted (for my non-Twitter folks, that means he copied my words and then tweeted them on his account so that his followers could see it) my celebrity question to a few folks.  It got a few people to chime in…

• “They can have a unifying effect, people need to see themselves in the lessons of faith so that they can identify with teachings.” (@TheStyleGent)
• “We only see the public side of them. So, it may be difficult to judge.” (Dr. Vibe)
• “I don’t think they hurt or help the church itself. Their platform does wonders for spreading the Gospel message” (@WalkSays)
• “I think it depends to what extent. There are some where you can just tell by how they live their lives (pos. representation) and then others who flaunt and throw it in your face, and it just becomes a joke (neg. representation).” (@Mr_Bragg1)

All the while Dr. Vibe has put out two questions of his own (this is the beautiful chaos that is a Twitter Chat): “Do a lot of your friends go to church?” and “What are some of the ways to be more creative in presenting the Bible?”  I responded to one of his questions saying that, “A lot of my friends go to church too. I think birds of a feather flock together,” while @TyLishaRenee said, “[B]e more relatable. Place scriptures on Facebook or twitter. Make Church the popular thing to do.” in response to his other question.  Not wanting to be rude, I also jumped in with “In my opinion – “more creative” = mentoring vs. talking; guiding vs. instructing; partnering vs. commanding.”

I think this was originally written tied to my question about non-believers, but Dr. Vibe asked, “Do non-believers have a spiritual walk?”

• @TheStyleGent said, “[E]ven non believers have a spiritual walk, there are questions inside you need to answer to find purpose & peace.”
• I said, “I think they do. Many young folks say they’re Spiritual vs. Religious.”

My response sort of opened an age-old can of worms.  Dr. Vibe immediately bit and asked, “What is the difference between spiritual and religious?”

• I said, “From convos – ‘religious’ is blind & ‘spiritual’ is open-minded.”
• @artofbeingblunt said “Spiritual = believe in God but don’t practice or go to church. Religious = goes to church, maybe zealous.”

And then @WalkSays gave a highly re-tweeted response with…

He asked, “You think that those people who belong to a specific religion are Spiritual?” to which I replied, “Some (many in fact), but not all.”  Then he asked, “Are those who are Spiritual not Religious because they don’t [have] a specific denomination?” to which I simply said, “To some.”  His final question to me was, “Can a person be both religious and spiritual?” and I said, “Yeah I think so. For some, religion leads to spirituality.”

Now the conversation was falling into the court I was more interested in.  If you follow this blog, you know that I’m a researcher by trade – and one key thing that defines the Millennial Generation’s views on faith (that differs from other generations) is our collective views on Spirituality vs. Religion, and which is more preferred.  One growing phenomenon over the last decade or so has been the fact that people aren’t losing faith in their beliefs – but rather the institutions that guide those beliefs.

A few more questions were thrown out as we were winding down, and in the final moments I asked for final thoughts.  The final response (that was within the allotted hour for the Twitter Chat was:

Questions were asked about bonding denominations of faith to be more effective and so on – and an even more important question was posed by @WalkSays that probably should have been clarified from the beginning… “What does “positive impact” mean? Give hope? Uplift? Encourage? Charity?” he then stated that is was “Tough to give a general answer.”

Haha – I told him, “That’s honestly a tough one … I’d say significantly fixing the ‘greater ills’ of the world.” and that was about where we left it.  I also recommended that people read a great blog post on faith from @artofbeingblunt (yes – I’m recommending that you read it too).

Now — my response to the worry posed at the beginning of this post is simply this.  I’m not against faith or religion.  I’m Christian, and I claim it proudly.  But I mostly don’t enjoy objective (attempts) at discussions on faith because they almost never peacefully happen.  It almost always turns into a “believer vs. non-believer” debate, rather than being “The Church (as a whole) has positively (or negatively) impacted the world because of X, Y and Z.”  Or — it becomes a “praise vs. bash” session.  No one likes to talk against their own faith, and they also don’t like other people talking against it — that’s just how we’re wired and people know that.  Unless they’re jackasses or seriously don’t care about people holding them in “popular regard” – most won’t speak on or against the topic of faith.  Politicians avoid it, and even religious leaders will hardly discuss it “honestly”.  Hmmm…  I applaud our attempt – but I don’t think we really got into the core of the nights question with this one.

What do you think?  Where do you sit with the night’s question?  Respond to any of the discussions that you saw above in the Comment Section below.  To look at the discussion, just search on Twitter for “#DrVibeREDUX”.  I know that the tweets eventually go away (sorry I don’t know when) – so go and look while the looking is good!

Peace and thanks for reading.

As I’m sure plenty of you style-heads just saw, New York Fashion Week went down this past week and did not disappoint.  There were celebrities stepping out and showing out.  Designers made impressive Autumn/Winter Statements with their collections – and of course, some designers made more of a splash than others.

Today I’d like to focus on one such designer who was actually selected to be paired with another, “J SHOES [was] selected to be part of Hyden Yoo’s Autumn/Winter ’12-’13 New York Fashion Week show. Yoo’s collection and J SHOES’ appearance have been gaining rave reviews from fashion’s elite.”

The British brand has grown organically becoming a global success fueled by an ever-expanding community of creative individuals, who believe in the true value of design, craft and quality. The team behind J SHOES loves what they do and is passionate about making the best products possible. The brand takes pride in their inventive use of materials, finishing techniques and color palettes. J SHOES creates high quality affordable footwear while maintaining a reputation for using the finest materials and components worldwide.

The Autumn/Winter line of J SHOES ranges from $149 – $287.  And before you scoff at the price-tag, check out the line sheet for the 2012-13 collection by clicking here.  The styles, colors and textures found in this high-quality footwear seems like justification enough in my eyes.  It’s understandable why folks are raving about the line.

The 2012 autumn/winter J SHOES collection focuses on stories that support a creative spirit. You will find an array of styles featuring rich character leathers, heritage inspiration and a color palette consisting of earthy browns, tans, green tones, and various shades of stony grey.

It’s an “in” look now.  CLICK THE PIC below to get a larger look at how select shots of “J SHOES aesthetic paired perfectly with Hyden Yoo’s preppy, downtown-inspiredcollection.”

CLICK THE PIC for a larger view...

In the spirit of full-disclosure, my glowing review of this footwear isn’t based on payment of any kind.  I just genuinely happen to like these and would recommend them to anyone (based on what I see) — that’s all.

Do yourself a favor and check out the links present in this article and then let me know what you think of the shoes in the Comment Section below.  What do you think of the colors and styles available in the line?  Do you think that Hyden made a good choice?  Speak your mind.

Peace and thanks for reading.

I haven’t written for a while. It’s actually been about a month and a half since my last post. My break from the blog was not a planned vacation; it wasn’t at all intentional. It was just the result of what happens when tons of other priorities are all hitting at once. There have actually been several topics that crossed my mind during that time that I wanted to write about; I just never cleared the time out of my schedule to do so. The topic that you are about to read is one that I absolutely had to get out.

As I have mentioned before, I earned my undergraduate degree (electrical engineering) at Oklahoma State University. I’m proud to be an alumnus of OK State for a number of reasons. The most important one for today is that despite its size, OK State has the feel of a smaller school. It truly is a family environment. Many of the friends that I made there while in college will be friends for the rest of my life. It is truly a unique place in that regard.

While in school I met tons of great people, one of whom was a young lady named Monica Dudley (@ProfessorMonica). She was also a native of Oklahoma City, and although I didn’t know her in high school, we shared a number of mutual friends.

Monica Dudley

During our college years a friendship grew between Monica and me. I’d be lying if I said that we were “best friends” or that I talked to her on a daily basis, but we were good friends. My fraternity and her sorority frequently hung out together, which made us all truly feel like brothers and sisters. As a unit, we were close.

There were no questions what Monica’s passions were–she wore them on her sleeve. She was passionate about not only doing well in school, but being the best at what she did. She was passionate about her church, but more so with spreading the Gospel message.  She was passionate about helping others to achieve whatever level of success they desired as well. She was passionate about blazing a trail for those after her to follow. She wasn’t concerned with making a name for herself, but in pursuing her own convictions and passions that’s exactly what she did.

Monica was driven.

She was a year behind me in college, but completed her undergraduate degree and a portion of her master’s degree by the time I completed my bachelor’s. She was set to be done with her Ph.D by the time I completed my master’s. She had very specific goals in mind that were clear to anyone who saw her live. Her actions spoke to her vision better than her words ever could.

She was an inspiration.

**************************************************

February 1, 2012 marked the first day of Black History Month. Another good friend of mine from OK State, Chris W. (@chris_doulos), and I decided to create a ridiculous list of made up Black History facts (we didn’t start the topic #BlackHistoryFacts, we were merely participants). We had a great time that day making each other and some of our followers laugh. Monica was one that voiced her enjoyment of the topic. When Chris and I finally decided to call it quits, she responded with the following:

The next morning I found out that hours after Monica sent that tweet, she was killed in a head on collision on the highway…

My world was rocked.

My brain wouldn’t function.

I was in disbelief.

I couldn’t reconcile in my head what I had just heard. In some ways, I still can’t. In fact, it’s taken me this long (as I write this, it is Feb 17) to be able to write this post without tearing up.

After losing grandparents, an uncle, and other family members, I thought I understood death. I thought I had a grip on how I grieve. Somehow this was different. While I love the family members that I’ve lost dearly, they were all sick. You could see death coming. This wasn’t that. This was a woman around my age (she was 27), who was full of life–she was healthy. This was easily one of the toughest things I’ve ever dealt with.

There’s more that could write about her, but I’ll cut it short today and end with a few thoughts.

1. Life is Short. It’s one of the most cliché sayings ever, but it’s true. Fill your life with things and people that matter to you.
2. What will your legacy be? What is it that people will be able to say about you once you’re gone? Are you proud of what you think they’ll say? If not, start working now to change your own eulogy.
3. I don’t ever use this platform that Johnnie has allowed me to use to talk about my faith out of respect for him and the positioning of his blog. I will tell you though, that in accordance with #1 mentioned above, it’s extremely important that we live in such a way that we are prepared to reap the rewards or face the consequences of the life we’ve led. Monica’s life was a testament to her faith and the God she served. In the end, she led many to follow in the same path she had chosen. The picture used for the heading of this post is a testament to that — it’s actually an image of students gathered holding candles in her memory.

That’s it for today. As always, thanks for reading.

Comments?? Questions?? Please leave them below in the Comment Section.

Until next time…

GRDXers.

How is everything going for you today? If you are like many fresh out of college millennials facing student debt, you may or may not be bringing in enough income to put away for savings or for a little fun. I’m not here to give you advice on financial ideas *however if you would like to know about that more I suggest that you check out Albert CFS - It’s a great blog dedicated to financial ideas for young professionals and entrepreneurs*

If you want additional income, trust me when I say that your job won’t be where you get it from (not quickly anyway). I personally do a few things on the side aside from work.

That said, I’d like to try something new with you all I like to call “Side Project Sessions”. This forum is just going to be for different ideas that you can do RIGHT NOW to create some additional income for yourself.

For today’s Side Project Session, I’d like to ask if you’ve ever thought about tutoring.

Yes, tutoring.

There has to be a subject or two that you excelled at during your many years in school. Why not capitalize on that knowledge and teach it to those that don’t understand it? Exactly.

Aside from the obvious benefit to tutoring (earning money), there are many other benefits available should you decide to tutor:

Try tutoring. It's a great challenge.

• You will learn more about the subject you tutor on. In order to properly tutor, you need to know the subject. Teaching the subject to someone else will really show you whether you “know” the subject or not. If you need a refresher course, I have a few resources I constantly use.
• Mentorship. Most likely, the students you teach will develop into mentorships as well. For some of my students, I have given them advice and help in areas other than the subject(s) I tutor them in.
• Networking. You never know who you will meet! Seriously. One of my students parents has a lot of knowledge in an area that I lack knowledge in (in regards to my business) and because of the relationship that we have built they are willing to offer their services to me free of charge. Huge help.

Before you start tutoring, I suggest you ask yourself a few questions…

1. Why do I want to tutor?
2. How much time do I have to dedicate to tutoring a student?
3. How much time am I willing to sacrifice?

Remember this is a side project, and not a means to replace your income. It’s to bring in additional income.

I personally keep my sessions at a 2 hour maximum because I find that is the length of time that I can fully dedicate myself to a student without overloading them or myself.

Here’s the strategy…

If you know a lot of people with children who need help in certain or multiple areas, I suggest you contact them and offer your services to them. If you have an existing relationship, selling to them will be much easier. You can also target your alma mater if you stayed in the city of the school you went to. There are many methods to start building your clientele.

I’ve found that one of the simplest methods was to go through an online service so that way you don’t have to spend as much time locating clients. If you decide to go this route, I suggest you go through either Quincy Tutoring or WyzAnt. I use both of these sites currently, which is why I am mentioning them. I’m sure there are others, but these are the best.

Quincy Tutoring is fairly new, but is immensely useful. There are tons of resources on the site to help you. They don’t charge a fee when you charge your clients, and they are building an extensive network of people that you can bounce ideas, techniques, and much more off of as you tutor.  WyzAnt is the other site that I go through. They are a little more established, and offer great resources – however they charge a fee on the money you earn. The amount of the fee varies with the amount of hours you have tutoring in accordance to their sites standards.

I suggest that you check out both of them. I lean more towards Quincy, mainly because they don’t charge a fee on your money.

If you don’t like the idea of tutoring, I’ll have a different side project for you to try next time.

What are your experiences with tutoring? Were they good? What do you think in regards to tutoring for additional income? What ideas do you have for the Side Project Sessions? Please share your thoughts in the Comment Section below.

Remember,

Every new meaningful input demands a disorganization and recalibration of your reality.

-Derrick

So I’ve blogged about happenings at DFW Airport once before – but an article on WIRED has the Dallas airport back in the spotlight for less jovial reasons.

A curvy woman in a TSA Boddy Scanner... Security or not?

And why the heck is her husband seeming to smile so much in the interview?  Shouldn’t he be upset (or at least act like he is)?  Do you think the new devices, with the basic gray figure vs. the detailed outline, are as effective or less safe?  Speak your mind on this topic in the Comment Section below.

Peace and thanks for reading.

I like to think of Life as our best teacher.  Sure our parents can tell us things, and our teachers can fill us with knowledge – but it’s Life I think is constantly trying to tell us something with each experience.  Case in point, I have developed this funny little theory on rush-hour driving I like to call “Lane Loyalty” which pretty much works like this:

• You’re on a highway during rush hour and you’re in the middle or far left lane.
• Things are going good for you, and then your lane comes to a slow near-halt.
• Seeing that another lane near yours is moving, you switch lanes (thinking you’ll advance).
• Next thing you know – your new lane has stopped, and your old lane is now moving past you.  You feel dumb for changing lanes.

Had you stayed loyal to your lane (hence the name “Lane Loyalty”), you’d be further along towards your final destination than you are. 

That theory seems to not only apply to driving though, that’s how Life works in general (based on my limited 25 year experience with it).  I opened up this post with that little example because I really can’t think of a better way to ground all of us in the “Grass is Always Greener on the Other Side” concept.

People do it all of the time.  You see something come along that looks like a good deal only to find that it’s not as sweet as you once thought it was, and then you lose all of your progress with what you had.  Keyword “had”.

It’s important that a Gentleman practices loyalty to something if he ever seeks to advance.  It doesn’t matter what that thing is – just find a loyal bone in your body and strengthen it through continuous practice.  Be loyal to your ideals, your job, your friends, your lover, your religion, whatever… Just “pick a lane” and stick with it.

Otherwise you may face a life of this…

Do you want "greener" or "greenest" or just "green" grass? Are they different?

Sure – opportunities come along, and I’m not saying pass it up – but keep that cheesy “you need to make your next move your best move” line in mind.  Think before you act.  Is the grass really greener?  Will switching really get you closer to what you want?

There are always options.  And there are always right choices, wrong choices and BEST choices.

I really just wanted to provoke a little thought with this one – so I’ll stop there.

How does this principle apply to your life?  When do you think you SHOULD move/change lanes?  What do you think the positive and/or negative effects of “Lane Loyalty” could be?  Speak your mind in the Comment Section below.

Peace and thanks for reading.

Gonna’ keep this one really simple…

Peace and thanks for reading  Happy Valentine’s Day folks.

For those who aren’t familiar with the Ponzi Scheme being referenced on the banner image of this post – check out the great visual from NY Times below…

Look & learn folks...

Me: “…Man – I’m going to be 26 this year.”

Friend: “That sounds so horrible – don’t remind me.”

Me: “It’s not bad – I just can’t believe how close that is to 30…”

Those were the words my friend and I had just brought up as we were leaving a movie headed back to the car when the first thing we hear on the radio is pertaining to the death of world-famous singer Whitney Houston at the age of 48.  We were both in shock, and honestly thought we were hearing things – so the first thing I naturally do on my phone is go to CNN to confirm it…

Yup.

Right there – on the front page – was a story about how Whitney Houston was dead.

You could’ve heard a pin drop in the car.

I wasn’t even the biggest Whitney Houston fan in the world — but there’s something about the shock of a truly unexpected death of a well-respected celebrity who shaped the perception of what many considered good music.  My friend was sad, and we both immediately thought back to the little remark we’d just made about turning 26 a few minutes earlier.  Really made us think.

I think a tweet I saw earlier today summed the way a lot of people felt about the news perfectly…

Like I said, I wasn’t the biggest Whitney fan.  I won’t front like I knew the lyric to every song she ever made – or even that I always appreciated that amazing voice she was blessed with.  Her real moments of “big time/serious fame” were before I even understood the concept of “good music” or could really take in the quality of that famous “And IIIIIIIIII-eee-IIIIII” (you all know the one).  I just remember her being every woman and then delivering this once I got into music that existed outside of Rap…

She was a Preacher’s Wife.  She was the Fairy Godmother most black kids my age will remember.  I can’t remember any standout parts she had in Waiting to Exhale – but who cares?  She had her problems, but she was human – we knew that, and we loved her anyway.  She taught folks how to handle mistakes in a way: she didn’t fall to them and she pressed on with her great personality.

I didn’t know her, so my commentary stops there.  Just know that I was saddened by the news that this stranger who I “knew so well” had passed.  My condolences go out to her family and friends.

What thoughts do you have about Whitney Houston’s passing?  Where were you when you heard about it?  Share any thoughts you have about her sudden death or her Life (or whatever) in the Comment Section below.

Peace and thanks for reading.

Health and Health-related subject matter isn’t a “sexy” topic to a lot of people, unless you’re in the medical field or chronically ill (or something), so many of us avoid reading up on it.  I personally think more of us should be informed about the issues on a regular basis…

I went to CNN.com to look through their Health Section, as I always do, trying to find great issues to possibly bring up with regards to Health on GRDX.  I quickly tuned into the headline “Dishonest doctors: why physicians lie” because of the moral issues implied by the title, and the fact that it just sounded interesting (plus it was just a great headline).  But literally, a few lines into it, my eyes went to the source of what the article was talking about – a survey put out by the website HealthAffairs.org.  I clicked it and was pretty impressed by the site – so I thought I should tell you all about it.

CLICK THE PIC to be taken to HealthAffairs.org

• We elect government officials based on their stances on it…
• We select places to work based on their treatment of it…
• We decide whether or not to go into business for ourselves based on the cost of it for ourselves and our employees…

I’m just saying, Health (the over-arching subject and industry) isn’t as easy an issue to ignore now as it was even 10 years ago for the average person.  Your retirement is effected by it – your family is impacted as well.  I have a ton of friends who feel helpless when it comes to their Health Care options just because of a sense of unfamiliarity.  That sucks.

It seems like a site like this could potentially inform folks without an agenda being behind it besides “to inform”.  Granted, I just discovered this site – so if they seem to be pushing an agenda don’t hold it against me.

Check out the site and let me know what you think.

Do you feel like Health and Health-related issues are a topic that Gents should know a bit about?  Why or why not?  What do you think of the Health Affairs site?  Tell me your thoughts in the Comment Section below.

Peace and thanks for reading.

While looking through one of my favorite art blogs on Tumblr the other day, I came across a photograph that I really liked of a hand punching through the sky and drawing the buildings around it with a pencil.  If that doesn’t sound like it makes sense – it’s because it doesn’t.  But images like that aren’t all that uncommon these days.  With the advent of Photoshop you get tons of lovelies like this…

Sheesh - that lady totally added that dude to her picture using Photoshop! *Yeah right*

Enter Thomas Barbey:

With unlimited imagination and consummate skill Barbey combines wildly disparate imagery into one seamlessly beautiful piece of art.  And all this with classic photographic techniques– not a computer in sight.

I’ll let you CLICK THE PIC below and judge his artwork for yourself by exploring his online gallery.  I personally dig the skill it must take to pull these images off without a computer – I’ve seen it done in photography classes, but this guy is a master of the techniques.

CLICK THE PIC to check out the photos ("Inner Beauty" by Thomas Barbey)

Peace and thanks for reading.

GRDXers,

Hmm. Did Homer take part?

There is a gentleman out of Chicago that decided to cut himself off from all electronic devices for 90 days, and dubbed it “The Amish Project”.

His experiment was very simple. What would it look like to not tweet, book, email, text, call, game and more – for 90 days (I’m almost positive many of you cringed when you read that)?

According to the article:

During his social experiment, he found that some people he counted among his close friends really weren’t that close after all. He also discovered that taking a break from his relationship with social media and really paying attention to the people around him can revive real-life romance.

If you want to read more about the article (not the article itself — that’s the link above), CLICK HERE. It’s definitely worth checking out. If you haven’t been tempted yet, check out this video related to the project…

I personally try to stay away from my phone during baseball games.

For obvious reasons…

This article is really interesting to me because he stated a lot of things I already knew:

• Having friends on social media sites does not mean these people are your actual friends. Of the thousands of people I associate with on social networks (e.g. Twitter, Facebook, Linkedin, Google +, etc.), I only consider maybe 20 or 30 of them my actual friends/family. Just because we speak on Facebook does not make us friends. Online? Sure! Everyday life…Not so much.
• Using social media while hanging out with friends is a little redundant. Seriously, why would you talk to your friends via social media if they are right in front of you? There’s a great example of this in the article.
• Social Media can be damaging. This guy lost his girlfriend because of his dependence on technology. I get that everyone’s situation is different, but I enjoy having the company of a good woman. Social media isn’t THAT important during this instance. That random photo about Star Wars can wait. (He got her back though. Yay for him!)

I’m not trying to bash social media, I’m just trying to understand why social media has made so many so… well… unsociable?

Heck I use it for business purposes all the time. Social media is immensely useful. I’ve met a few folks that I personally don’t think are decent communicators unless it’s through text, email or social media. I tried to hold a conversation once with someone and they were glued to the phone so much that they missed half of the conversation.

I guess it’s an issue of engagement and presence.

Ok, let me stop before I start rambling some more. I’m really interested in hearing what you think about think about this. Also, be sure to see more of Jake Riley’s work at www.BodyCopyByJake.com. He has some interesting stuff on there.

What are your thoughts? How has social media affected some of your relationships? What stories do you have in regards to social media? How has it helped you? Harmed you? Etc? Tell us in the Comment Section below.

Remember:

Every new meaningful input demands a disorganization and recalibration of your reality.

-Derrick

The Autumn/Winter London Fashion Week is right around the corner, and the blogs and fashion world are spreading the buzz.

Designers are doing interviews, magazines are sending out their representatives, and sponsors are doing their part as well.  One such sponsor has reached out to the GRDX Blog before — Mercedes-Benz — and they are back again with behind the scenes footage for GQ’s (UK) 2012 Best-Dressed List.

The photo shoot featured three Mercedes-Benz cars, not just as props, but also as style inspiration for the models look, who were dressed by three well known celebrity stylists Luke Day, William Gilchrist and Tom Stubbs. The behind the scenes video of the shoot features an interview with GQ’s Promotions Art Director James Warner and shows viewers a high-fashion shoot coming together whilst capturing the excitement of the day and the elegance and style of both the models and cars.

Personally speaking, I dig the cars – and the look and feel of the overall style presented in the video.  I love how they tried to capture some of the more intricate details of what was going on in the shoot – and I hope at least a few of you appreciate it as well.

Remember – Style is in the details.  Anyone can put on a pair of shoes, a scarf, gloves, etc… but it’s how a Gent pays attention to the details that determines how his personal sense of Style is presented to the world.

If you enjoyed the video, Mercedes-Benz Voices of Fashion (*Voices of Fashion is the exclusive fashion blog brought to you by Mercedes-Benz, Official Sponsors of London Fashion Week*) will continue to cover London Fashion Week on their YouTube Channel, so keep checking back for more backstage goods.

What did you think of the video?  Does it make you want new clothes or a new Benz?  What more would you like to see from London Fashion Week AW 12 coverage?  I may do a bit more digging if you feel it’s worth your time.  Anywho – let me know your thoughts in the Comment Section below.

Peace and thanks for reading.

There was an article recently on Match.com’s blog detailing the differences in how men and women communicate. Essentially, women have a need to talk through their feelings. Men, on the other hand, tend to express themselves through actions. Read those two sentences again and you find they explain a whole lot.

Fast forward a few days and my boyfriend and I are having a small fight. What started out as a very minor argument turned sour fast. After I hung up in anger, I called back. I was still angry, but that still doesn’t condone my immature action of hanging up on him. I say I love you and go to bed planning to revisit the argument the next day.

Then I think back to that article…

Why was I so angry? Was it because of what he did? Nope, not at all; I was upset at what he said. I needed to talk through my feelings with him and expected him to do the same. His silence at the end of my thoughts aggravated me to no end.

When I called him the next day, I calmly explained how my mind was functioning in that moment. I believe our same argument happens with many couples. It’s not the actions taken, but the words said. Here is a small look into the mind of a woman.

Scene: You and your girlfriend have a disagreement about something minor. As you don’t really care, you shrug off the argument. For some reason, your girl just won’t let it go. She now appears angry and you are angry, too. You thought the argument was over. The whole thing ends in disaster.

In order to remedy this situation you must remember that…

1. Women usually feel a need to talk through their emotions.
2. More than likely your girlfriend had something to say connected to her feelings.
3. This makes her anger not about the minor disagreement, but about how you handled it.

The fact that she wants to talk through her feelings with you means many things. It means she trusts you, loves you and values your input. Instead of shrugging off a comment that clearly has an emotional connect, say something. Ideally you should say something sincere, but the situation is also open up to manipulation if you’re a crummy human being.

Say something...

Perhaps this sounds crazy, but when you don’t say anything, we women feel like you’re not listening to us. Maybe we asked about pizza or if our parents can visit or something else of little significance. Don’t freak out about saying the wrong thing. That’s better than saying nothing at all.

Here’s the big secret…

Every woman does it. Sometimes we ask a question without asking a question. It may be unreasonable, but if you have nothing to say we may get annoyed.

The heart of this type of argument is in the frustration of the man and the annoyance of the woman. These emotions are due to misunderstandings about how the two of you communicate. If you’re feeling proactive, there is a way you may be able to avoid these arguments before they start. Talk to your girlfriend and let her know how you function. Let her know your feelings are in your actions, not in your words. Tell her just because you may not have something to say doesn’t mean you don’t care.
At the end of the day, we are reasonable creatures.

Help us understand you and we will help you understand us.

Tonya Vrba is a passionate writer. Her work has been published in newspapers and blogs.

She is currently an active writer for Online Dating Sites. Learn more about Tonya and her work at her personal website tonyavrba.wordpress.com
 
 
 

GRDXers.

Haha! I hope your lists aren't this bad...

Am I the only person who is beginning to hate the to-do list? Does it continually haunt you as a laundry list of stuff you wanted to accomplish throughout the day, yet you find yourself only completing 25% of your list?

If so, you’re not alone. I feel the same way.

I’ve been making to-do lists since I started college, and I’m finally beginning to notice something. They demolish productivity worse than those awesome Prime vs. Prime videos. *Those videos are a great way to spend a few moments if you need a pick me up.*

Anywho, I’m seriously beginning to think that creating a to-do list is a hindrance. What typically happens when you create your list? Below is what I typically do. I’m pretty sure many of us list makers do this….

• Grab a pen and pad (or a tablet, laptop etc. You know us Millennials…)
• Think about what you need to get done, and what you didn’t get done the day before.
• Write down an extensively redundant list of crap you need to do.
• Wash, rinse, repeat.

Horrible.

About four months ago, I went to a conference on Entrepreneurship. It was really interesting. I spoke with a consultant who told me to stop making those long redundant lists and instead list the four most important things you need to do for that day. I thought he was crazy. Think about the statement I leave at the end of each of my posts and keep reading…

Needless to say, I tried it and I loved it!

Here is why…

Most of those “to-do’s” on the list were things I would have remembered to do regardless of if they were on a list or not. Like paying a student loan bill or car note. I think I’d remember those. I like having my car and not having to pay additional fees on an already expensive bill.

I was able to de-clutter my mind. Whenever I would look and my 20 junk long list, my mind would get cluttered and I would start to brainstorm how I would tackle this. That would waste like 20 minutes and I could have gotten 4-5 of those tasks done!

Now that I look back at this I laugh. I was seriously wasting more time than I was getting things done that I needed to do.

Here are my tips for creating your daily list of “The Four Horsemen”. (Let’s call your new list The Four Horsemen because it sounds cool, and it may give a sense of urgency for your tasks…”Final Four” maybe? Ok, I’ll stop.)

1. Think about everything that you need to get done the next day and just wonder how important it really is to get done. If it’s really important, trust me it won’t leave your head until you do it.
2. Write it down on a note card or put it in your phone.
3. You are limited to 4 tasks. Whatever these 4 tasks are you have deemed them as the most important are the ones that have the most priority. Everything else is secondary.
4. If you are having a hard time narrowing it down to 4 tasks, think about it this way. How critical is it that this gets done? For example, there is no reason to have “call mom” on your to do list. Calling your mom should not be something you have to list as a task. It shouldn’t be one. She probably wants to hear from you…

I think that if you take these simple steps, you can save yourself a lot of time throughout the day. If it’s really THAT important, you will remember it and get it done. No need for a list. You can also think of it this way. I learned this from Penelope Trunk’s blog. “One thing at a time. Most important thing first. Start now.” Check out the article here.

I’ve recovered from the to-do list. Have you?

Get ‘er done! Enjoy!

How do you prioritize things that you put down on to-do lists?  Was any of this helpful for you, or did it change how you approach making your to-do lists?  Do you have anything to add?  Share your thoughts in the Comment Section below.

Remember:

Every new meaningful input demands a disorganization and recalibration of your reality.

-Derrick

I recently partnered with @vibeandvegas to begin doing a bi-weekly Twitter-Chat Series where we just discuss random cultural themes that impact our little spots of the world with our followers.  In honor of Black History Month, we began the series on Thursday, Feb. 2, 2012, with a broad topic focused on Black People (I would say “African Americans” – but @vibeandvegas is based out of Canada): What does Black Success look like?

You can check out the results of the lively conversation yourself on Twitter by doing a search for the hash-tag #DrVibeREDUX (or clicking the link in this sentence).  Here were a few of my favorite responses and some of the thoughts they provoked:

@mrkeion (who has a locked account, so others couldn’t read his comments unless he referred specifically to them w/ the “@” symbol) got the ball rolling by setting the tone that “success” in itself is a personal thing and differs for each person…

We all have individual struggles, things we have to overcome.  I think success should be measured by how we survive those things … Heck, there’s a level of succes s in simply not going to jail, or maintaining a healthy family life.

And the question was also thrown out by @vibeandvegas whether money should fund the mission or “be the mission”?

To which @BlkMenUSA replied…

[T]he mission is always at the core of successful outcomes I think.  Personal mission (IMHO) always comes from the heart — [and] Its also key to define success based on your Values..not externally.

So at this point we had two good streams of thought going.  On one hand, “success differs for everyone and is always personal,” and on the other – the acknowledgement that “success should be based on your Values, not external ones.”

But then more themes began to bubble up.

For @Mr_Bragg1, since he was a college student – his personal measure of success correlated with when he took his first corporate job.  For @tiffwheelz, “happiness = success” in her eyes (we ran off on an interesting tangent from this one if you can hunt down the convo).

I felt like the conversation was going a lot of places, but I wanted to focus it a little at this point.  I’ve been told that if you can’t nail down what something “is” – it’s sometimes easier to say what it is NOT… So I just threw it out there:

@mrkeion quickly replied with “Incarceration” in a one word rebuttal.

@TyLishaRenee responded beyond one word with the following…

Failure is you believing others when they say you can’t… Failure can be personal & and others can judge you and say you have failed, [but] When you believe others when they tell u you’ve failed you never thought you could do it in the first place.

So now – failure was personal as well, and pretty much amounted to any instance where you stopped striving to be successful (based on your definition thereof).

Here thoughts were cosigned by @iAmFeddy who stated…

[I]t’s ALL on the individual! both success and failure. It’s all how one responds to the cards they are played.  I think failure comes when we choose not to take responsibility for our own circumstance. Continue to blame [others].

And then @knolues came in and made the statement that I honestly agree the most with, and had been waiting to hear all night (regardless of how the question was framed):

Join us for the next one on Twitter a 8 PM (CST) under the same hash-tag.  We don’t know the topic just yet, but the date is 2/16/2012.  Hopefully I’ll see you there if you’re on Twitter.  Tell your friends.

What did you think of what you saw of the conversation?  What would you add to the views expressed on the subject?  Did any of them make you think any differently about what success means to you?  Tell me your thoughts in the Comment Section below.

Peace and thanks for reading.

The Mayo Clinic cites Heart Disease as the number one men’s health threat.  And in their words – this is what they normally suggest to avoid heart problems, I’m sure many of us have heard this before…

• Don’t smoke…
• Eat a healthy diet...
• Manage chronic conditions…
• Include physical activity in your daily routine…
• Maintain a healthy weight…
• Limit alcohol…
• Manage stress…

It’s like the standard thing that we always hear — not really specific in any kind of way unless you personally dig a little deeper into it.  But who really does that?

Abmit it guys -- a lot of us eat this way...

And I know – some of my younger readers may not think this stuff is relevant to you, but it ultimately is very relevant.  Heart problems aren’t a sudden stroke (no pun intended) of sickness, they’re typically caused by long-term habits that are self-inflicted by most standards.  Don’t set yourself up to have a problem with your heart in the future if you can begin promoting healthy habits for yourself today.

Here’s their overview of their Aortic-friendly Ombinibus…

With doctor’s offices busier than ever, you’re lucky if you get 20 minutes with your M.D. Which is why it’s not surprising that even when it comes to your most vital organ, the advice you receive can sound somewhat boilerplate: Exercise regularly, watch your diet, don’t smoke, and limit your drinking. But how can the average guy put those prescriptions into practice? And is there anything else he should be doing to protect his ticker?

We combed thousands of scientific studies and queried the nation’s top cardiologists to compile a list of the most important advice you’ll ever read: 100 tips, tricks, and techniques for protecting your heart. Make them part of your life, and you may just live long enough to see the United States pay its national debt, the Cubs win the World Series, and Madonna retire.

Source: Men’s Health

What more can you ask for?  They’ve basically done the legwork for you on this one!  CLICK THE PIC below to see 100 ways that you can better ensure a healthy heart…

CLICK THE PIC to be taken to 100 informative ways to help prevent Heart Problems...

Did you find out anything that you honestly just didn’t know or had never really heard mention of before in their guide?  Have you (or someone you know) ever had a heart issue (health-wise)?  What do you (or they) do to keep it in check?  Tell us whatever your thoughts may be on this topic in the Comment Section below.

Peace and thanks for reading.

I’ve been more active on Twitter in the last few cays than I typically am, and while I was there I stumbled across this great site I’d like to share with you all.  If you’re a fan of new music, the New York based site RCRD LBL is right up your alley.  It looks like they get promo music access to distribute to the masses.

CLICK THE PIC to visit the site...

Do you dig the musical selection they have on the site?  I personally want to dabble into it a bit more because I’m definitely at the “finding out” phase with this site.  Let me know if you stumble on anything amazing in the Comment Section below.

Peace and thanks for reading.