Comments for GentlemanREDUX.com

Comment on Question: What would you do if you were fired? by RT

RT — Fri, 18 May 2012 13:19:00 +0000

My resume is up to date on LinkedIn and I constantly add contacts. I have an additional source of income, but it is not reliable. In my decade at my day job, I have acquired a strong set of skills that I did not have when I walked in the door nearly 10 years ago. I agree with staying on good terms with former colleagues–I had some burn the bridge with me and guess who would not give them a recommendation if asked? Also, people have to be willing to consider pay cuts and even temping. Ten years ago, things were so bad at work that I was stressed and looking back I should have just considered temping in a worst case scenario.

Comment on FINAL GRDX POSTING: A Bittersweet (but Shameless) Farewell… by RT

RT — Tue, 06 Mar 2012 22:26:11 +0000

Thanks for the heads up. I DID have issues accessing the site and wondered what was happening. I just followed you on Twitter. Facebook is overrated and I try to avoid it. I only get on FB about a once a week. I don’t think that FB is interesting enough to sign on daily. Twitter tends to have less drama. I understand wanting to focus on other things. Only so much time can be spent in front of a computer. I just found your blog a few weeks ago and enjoyed the posts, but I am sure that you’ll continue to share great insight on Twitter. So I don’t feel that this is a goodbye, but a nice heads up.

Comment on FINAL GRDX POSTING: A Bittersweet (but Shameless) Farewell… by Amari

Amari — Sat, 03 Mar 2012 05:34:42 +0000

Oh my goodness!!!!!!!!!!!!! So sad to see you go! But–I will continue to Twitter Stalk you and I’m sure that we will stay in touch. I plan on starting up some new writing ventures after my wedding (which, coincidentally is the exact day this site will be taken down!). I’ll miss reading your insights. Even though I haven’t been on as much recently, I really appreciate your perspective on the world.

Comment on FINAL GRDX POSTING: A Bittersweet (but Shameless) Farewell… by Keion

Keion — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 15:45:18 +0000

Be free, black bird. Be free.

Comment on FINAL GRDX POSTING: A Bittersweet (but Shameless) Farewell… by Jen

Jen — Fri, 02 Mar 2012 03:42:10 +0000

I’m sad to see you go since I feel like I just got to met you and your site. It’s being very inspiring to me and informative. I hope that you find what’s next for you and that everything works out. Bye!

Comment on Game Recognize Game… by RT

RT — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 17:10:04 +0000

Honestly, I never thought of that before. I didn’t meant that ALL men who have a lot of female friends are players, but I have seen that go on IRL. I can say that I saw a situation in which a relationship ended badly, the woman was the one to break it off, and she did have a lot of male friends–and started a new relationship immediately after ending the previous one. So, to answer your question, yes, the same could hold true for women, too. It may be better just to date loners! I am not being entirely serious, but that could be a way to avoid this issue. I am not saying that people should seek out hermits, and if people do not want to date loners, then they should have honest conversations about these things in the very early stages of dating and I would hope that the other person tells them the truth. But you never know how anyone is going to turn out.

Comment on A Lost Friend by Miranda

Miranda — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 16:09:05 +0000

Thanks so much for sharing this. So true and so thought provoking. Knowing her and losing her has been one of the most influentual experiences in my life. I think your post is so important because it touches on the fact that whether you knew Monica for many year or just a few, you couldn’t help but be moved by her. My favorite posts on her FB page are the ones from people who only met her briefly but had so much to say about her!

Comment on Travel (PERIOD) by Johnnie at GentlemanREDUX

Johnnie at GentlemanREDUX — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 14:57:37 +0000

Thanks for the recommendation Nena – I’ll add that one to my list.

Comment on Age Ain’t Nothin’ but a Number? by Johnnie at GentlemanREDUX

Johnnie at GentlemanREDUX — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 14:55:30 +0000

Yeah – I’m with you on all points, but I especially have to agree with you on the maturity thing. I used to defend male maturity at these types of moments – but having gotten older, and seeing some of my male friends (and looking in the mirror at myself), I have to agree with you. I will say though, I think it’s gotten a little better over the years. We (males) have kind of had to change with the times.

Comment on Ladies – Tips to Get Rid of Unwanted Male Attention by Johnnie at GentlemanREDUX

Johnnie at GentlemanREDUX — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 14:41:26 +0000

Respecting boundaries are important — there’s a reason they exist. And I feel like if you feel like a person isn’t respecting you, why respect them? I know the response to that differs depending on who you ask – but mutual respect speaks volumes.

Comment on Game Recognize Game… by Johnnie at GentlemanREDUX

Johnnie at GentlemanREDUX — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 14:38:57 +0000

Do you think the same holds true for women? You know, that if a woman has a lot of male friends she may play the field a bit?

Comment on One Gent’s Opinion on Interracial Relationships… by Johnnie at GentlemanREDUX

Johnnie at GentlemanREDUX — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 14:37:37 +0000

I honestly laughed a little bit when I saw mention of the south (my parents are from there) – but I do agree with you when you say that we need to get rid of racism. I’ve never been on the receiving end of anything – but I have seen it happen to friends, and it sucks.

Comment on Gents – “Respectful Cheating” Does Not Exist… Period. by Johnnie at GentlemanREDUX

Johnnie at GentlemanREDUX — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 14:29:33 +0000

Yeah it is discouraging, but at least you know that it’s a stereotype that all men cheat Shows a sign that we (men) can keep hope alive!

Comment on Travel (PERIOD) by nena

nena — Fri, 24 Feb 2012 03:33:19 +0000

Mr. Johnnie, if you love to travel, consider the Philippines for your next destination. There’s a lot of things to see, explore and discover on the island.

Comment on Age Ain’t Nothin’ but a Number? by RT

RT — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 20:26:42 +0000

I just have to go with that it isn’t really anyone else’s business. If the bride is underage, and the parents consent, then who are we to judge. I mean, the 16-year-old’s videos made me laugh and may come back to haunt her one day, but her parents consented. I am glad that I got out of high school before social media came into existence. Today, if teens do something dumb, it goes viral and there is no getting rid of it. Even if a video is deleted, someone could have saved it on their cell or computer. I will mention that I was surprised at Anna Nicole because I recalled reading about her having a fiancee about her age in a magazine. She did an interview and this was when she was starting to get noticed. When she got together with the senior gentleman, I wondered what had happened to fiancee. I think that used good judgement in not calling anyone a gold digger. People tend to make that assumption if the woman is much younger and the man is wealthy, but as you wrote, that isn’t really fair.

Sometimes, even if there is a huge age difference, the woman may still be more mature than the man, and I do not mean that as an male bashing comment. She may not be able to relate to males her own age and may mesh better with someone older.

Comment on Ladies – Tips to Get Rid of Unwanted Male Attention by RT

RT — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 15:00:57 +0000

When some guys misread “nice responses”, then you have no choice to be rude. I stopped speaking to another client at my hair salon because he hit on me constantly, and I told him many, many times that I am not single. I don’t see him that much when I go to the salon,and the last time I did see him, I didn’t speak. I prefer not to be rude, but I know that he made it clear more than once that he didn’t respect boundaries.

Comment on Game Recognize Game… by RT

RT — Thu, 23 Feb 2012 13:35:41 +0000

I agree that a man that has many female friends is probably a player. It may be better to land someone who is a loner. I couldn’t get through the video with the women. I am an honest person, so I am not into playing mind games with anyone.

Comment on One Gent’s Opinion on Interracial Relationships… by RT

RT — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 23:28:02 +0000

I laughed when the bar video started as I knew they were actors. People would have to be really nuts to approach people that they don’t know and insult them. I have been in a mixed relationship for years and no one has ever openly insulted us. Ideally, no one should think this way anymore, but if they do, I think that most people are smart enough to mutter to themselves instead of launching verbal assaults on strangers. We have to work on eradicating racism entirely, but I gather that being openly racist isn’t socially acceptable anymore. It seems to be more frowned upon.

Years ago, someone did make a cross over comment as I walked down the street hugging the fair skinned Latino that I was seeing at the time. He tried to shake the naysayer’s hand, but he didn’t want to be touched. People did stare, but that was the only time that I recall being openly insulted.

I don’t mean to draw fire with stereotypes, but I was living further south when that happened. I have been living in the Northeast for a decade and I noticed that people don’t seem to care as much up here–again, no one has ever said anything directly to us. I also noticed that we received more looks when we traveled south.

Comment on Gents – “Respectful Cheating” Does Not Exist… Period. by RT

RT — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 22:53:45 +0000

There is no such thing as respectful cheating. The,”Hey, I am a guy” mentality reinforces the stereotype that all, or most men cheat. If women were to do this, they would be called all sorts of derogatory names. People wouldn’t say,”Hey, they’re women.” I agree about mistakes, but I also agree that if someone doesn’t want the person that they are with, then they ought to end the relationship. I don’t understand this mentality and it is discouraging.

Comment on Tips to Survive the Long Haul of Long-Distance by Johnnie at GentlemanREDUX

Johnnie at GentlemanREDUX — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 21:59:20 +0000

I see – well I won’t say that she’s right, but I definitely admit that it’s difficult compared to a “normal” one. You don’t really even notice it until the simple things come along. Perfect example – birthdays — you’re technically missing out on really getting to know the other person at the regular pace, so it can make gifting a little difficult.

I really think it depends on how well the couple communicates though and what they’re looking for.

So far I’m having a good run with it. I’m not having the time of my life or anything – but it’s good for me and where I’m at right now.

Comment on So… She Caught You Checking Her Out… by Johnnie at GentlemanREDUX

Johnnie at GentlemanREDUX — Wed, 22 Feb 2012 21:56:20 +0000

Well thanks for understanding. I’ve seen it turn a little bad – especially if it happens in inappropriate situations (like your “at work” example). If only everyone understood it a little bit more that way.