Don't confuse the "Idea Man" with a "Good Man"...
Have you ever noticed that most guys who say they are good men never really are by any moral standards you can come up with?
It’s not an accident that things turn out that way, it’s bound to happen once they’ve told themselves they ARE a Good Man – therein lies the secret…
To stay a good man, you should never tell yourself that you are one.
I know – it’s one of those “it’s so simple it’s confusing” statements, so let me clarify.
What I’m NOT Saying
I know that the statement above can be misconstrued as saying a lot of things that it’s not really trying to say – so here’s the rundown:
- I’m NOT saying to be a Bad Guy. I know by some people’s logic – if you’re not a Good Guy, by default – you must be a Bad Guy. That string of thinking makes sense in a world of dualities, but being a Gentleman ain’t one (see – I said “ain’t”).
- I’m NOT saying that you shouldn’t recognize your accomplishments. If you’ve done some good in the world here and there, be proud of that fact. If someone pays you a compliment – don’t respond to their words of praise with negativity all of the time because you’re “not a good man”.
- I’m NOT saying you shouldn’t aspire to be a Good Man. The world needs more good people in it – I’d never tell you to not strive to be counted amongst that number.
- I’m NOT making an underhanded dig at Good Guys. They’re cool – and I hope that people consider me one.
- I’m NOT saying that “not saying” you’re a Good Man automatically makes you a Good Man. Sorry fellas – it’s not that easy.
What I AM Saying
Being a Good Man is meant to be a permanently aspirational part of the Gentleman’s Life. It’s meant to be this unobtainable abstract or ideal that the Gent tries to provide n a constant basis. Once you say that you ARE a Good Man, you make it finite. You’re basically stating that you’ve accomplished that which can never really be accomplished.
Charlie Sez...
Think of it like this: If you become the World Boxing Champion you may say that you’re the greatest from time-to-time to get ticket sales up for an upcoming bout, but you for damn sure never act like it. You train each day like you always have because you know that you are only the best in that fight, in that moment you won. Someone could easily train while you loaf about and surpass you. So a Boxer striving to be the best trains to keep their skills sharp because they know that “being the best” is really an illusion of sorts. Being a Good Man works in that same way.
You can confess to people that you’re not the worst man in the world, but once you claim to be a Good Man you’ve limited your potential. Instead of saying you ARE DEFINITELY a Good Man when someone asks you if you’re a good person – answer them with an “I try to be.” There’s no harm in that, you aren’t lying, knocking your projected confidence or selling yourself short.
Keeping in mind that you ARE NOT something yet, and making it your goal keeps you going.
Anyone going after a championship knows this…
Anyone trying to lose weight (or something like that) knows this…
Anyone trying to “be the best they can be at anything” knows this…
If you’re trying to be a Good Man – it’s time for you to figure that one out too.
What do you think? Am I way off with this one? Does the theory make sense or have a lot of holes in it? Are the Gents in your life who claim to be a Good Man really what they say they are? What makes a Good Man? Share your thoughts in the Comment Section below.
Peace and thanks for reading.
